So I just turned 59. I'm not sure what to think about that. I mean, it seems like just a short while ago I was writing in this blog: "Holy crap I'm 58!" Really, wasn't that just a couple of months ago?
It seems unfair that as we get older the passage of time feels as though it speeds up and we can't get a handle on it. What's up with that, anyway? We reach a time when we want life to slow down so that we can finally take a breath and enjoy it and here it is roaring down a track like a freight train! And toward what? Well, that's the big question isn't it? Not gonna get into that now.
I used to do awesome stuff. No Kidding!
It seems like just yesterday that I was running my martial arts class, competing in tournaments, camping with my kids, going out dancing, you know, doing young stuff.
Hell, I was an athlete! I could do some pretty incredible things, like a jump side kick to the head of a six-foot tall man, taking only one step; break boards held by guys standing on chairs with a jumping, spinning back kick; perform a flawless forward roll after leaping over eight or ten people lined up in their hands and knees.
Erosion of skills = depression. (Is that why fighters keep fighting past their prime? Is it denial?)
And that's just stuff off the top of my head. If I thought about it, I could easily come up with a bunch more stuff that would amaze most of you (and even me!) and now here I am: creaky joints and brittle muscles, struggling to keep a measure of athleticism despite my rapidly advancing years. How did that happen, anyway? I'd be lying if said it didn't depress me at times. I sometimes think it would be easier if I never had any athletic ability in the past. Less to miss, you know?
Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty happy with what I can still do at my age. Check out my side split stretch:
But it doesn't come easy any more, that's for sure. For one reason or another, I've missed working out for five days in a row this week and I'll pay dearly for that. I feel a loss of strength and flexibility in a matter of days now when I don't exercise. If I don't stay on top of it, if I don't stay consistent, if I don't work my ass off, I will lose all the skills that I've worked so hard for. They will continue to erode, slowly but surely, I know that, but the idea of losing my skills is devastating to me. Devastating.
Why do I care?
It gets more difficult every year, not just the actual working out, which is tough enough, but the motivation. If It gets harder and harder and more painful to try to maintain my martial arts skills, why do I do it? Well, there are the obvious benefits, longer, healthier life, etc. but I could gain that with far simpler workouts than hard-style martial arts. Why else then? One of my former students said he was doing it for his legacy. But I could cement a legacy by just showing up, blowing my own horn, promoting myself and kissing a lot of ass...not my style.
Do I do it to be a badass old man? Hmm, maybe, and make no mistake I'm still pretty badass, take a look:
Bottom Line: I'm a real martial artist
But that's not it, not really. I believe I do it for no other reason than because I am a martial artist. It has been my life since I was 21 years old. More than any other single thing, it has defined the person I am for my entire adult life.
A journeyman and a master?
That's all there is to it. I'm just a martial artist and that's all I've ever been. I've often called myself a journeyman martial artist and that is no insult to either myself or the term. I use the word "journeyman" in the context of a hard-working, middle class man who gets up and goes to work every day, not for glory or accolades, but only to perform his trade. That's what I have done and still do.
Does that mean that I don't consider myself a master level martial artist? Not at all. I have been training non-stop for nearly forty years. I owned and operated a martial arts organization for nearly 25 years and ran a very succesful martial arts tournament for fifteen years in a row. I have competed at and placed in national level martial arts tournaments and, on a regional level, was considered one of the best.
By any definition of the word, I consider myself a master level martial artist...I just approach it like a journeyman. Not to mention that the word has a nice ring to it--a journey man, a man on a journey. I still consider myself to be on the Journey.
What is a legacy?
I don't need or crave glory or anyone's approval. I know my self worth and I am perfectly comfortable with what I have done and who I am. I'm a damn good martial artist and still valid and relevant even at my age. And while acknowledgement is nice, I don't need a "legacy" to prove my worth as a martial artist. I've already proven that, time and again. I may end up leaving a legacy behind but if I do, it will have been a by-product of my life and not the goal of it.
What I will leave behind
While I no longer teach, I have a vast knowledge and skillset to pass on. I have distilled a variety of arts down into a relatively simple package. I may eventually choose someone, or a group of someones to pass it on to. If that is the case, that person (or persons) will be privliged to have knowledge of one the most effective fighting arts that exists, in my not-so-humble opinion.
But, then again, I may just leak it out in a series of articles or write a book or make videos. That's one of the reasons I started this blog, because I have a lifetime of some pretty awesome knowledge to share...and time is roaring by like a freight train.
And, yikes, I'm 59!
WOW! Just amazing.. Age doesn't matter! Haha! :D While, most of your age Sir, are feeling their great age and putting in their minds that they're too old for such physical activities, here you are with other elders who stays fit beyond their age. I've seen in tv, a 60 yr old who can still climb a coconut tree effortlessly, the other one, she can still do horse-back-riding.. phew! At 59, you're even fitter than young people like me! :D May God blessed your health Sir! O:D
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